Feeling My Way Through The Darkness
by where the wind blows
Summary: Dean was taken away to live with their grandparents after John started to neglect them. After a tragic accident Sam comes to live with them. Dean loves his adopted little brother, but when John comes back convinced of demons and Sam's involvement in his wife's death, what will happen to the little family?AU with lots of hurt!deaf!Sam and protective!Dean
1. Wake Me Up When Its All Over

**Feeling my way through the darkness**

**Disclaimer: Yeah I literally own NONE of this. **

**Hey everyone! So this great story idea is not my own. It actually comes from the brilliant **_**WhatIsItYo**_**, now under the name CodenameConundrum22. She has given me permission to rewrite and continue her story! However I really suggest you go check out her version of the tale! The code for her story is /s/3325605/1/**

**I have changed quite a few things though and will not be following his plot line, but the main underlying plot will still be there is guess… The main change is I have made Sam deaf instead of paralyzed. **

**Summary****: Dean and his older brother were taken away to live with their grandparents after John started to neglect them. After a tragic accident Sam comes to live with them. Dean loves his adopted little brother but when John comes back and convinced of demons and Sam's involvement in his wife's death, what will happen to the little family? AU with lots of hurt!littlebrother!Sam and protective!bigbrother!Dean NO SLASH. Deaf!Sam **

**Basically this story deals with Dean and his older brother, Kadin being neglected and abused by John after Mary dies in a non-supernatural fire. They are sent to live with their grandparents. When they are living with them the grandparents are asked to take in deaf boy named Sam who had been abused by his criminal parents. **

**Years later the three boys are living a very happy life with their grandparents until they get a phone call that could change their lives forever… **

**THIS IS COMPLETELY NONSLASH **

**Anyway I really look forward to hearing some input from you all! Let me know what you think of this chapter and if you think it is worth it if I am to continue! **

**Oh and yeah the chapter titles are from the song **_**Wake Me Up**_** by Avicii. I was listening to the song when writing this, and the lyrics seemed to work with the story so there you go! **

**Note: I obviously don't own the song either**

**Chapter One**: "Wake Me Up When It's All Over"

It was a beautiful June day in the small Virginian town. The sun beamed sharply down on the small vineyard, "Wayward Wines". The early morning shift workers were sweating as they trimmed the vines and pulled the plentiful fruit from the bushes. A loud bell rang across the field letting the workers know it was nine and time for a quick early morning break; most of them had been out since six.

On the second floor of the Winchester house sunshine poured into the bedrooms. Dean Winchester groaned burying his face further in his pillow trying and escape the inevitable. As far as the seventeen year old was concerned no one should be awake before noon on and normal day, let alone a Saturday!

Unfortunately Dean knew he had to awaken now if he didn't want to be harshly pulled from his bed by his formidable older brother or lectured on "early risings" by his grandfather. Stifling another groan Dean rolled over and blinked at the light pouring through the curtains of the large window. His grandmother must have already come in and opened them.

Dean sighed, his Nana played dirty, rolled over-

and imminently inhaled a head full of dark auburn hair…

Blowing hair out of his mouth and spluttering indigently Dean woke up fully for the first time and sat up and looking down at his baby brother. Sam was thirteen and had been deaf since age four when his abusive parents had pushed him down two flights of stairs causing him to bash his head injuring the part of his brain that compensated with hearing. Luckily that had been the only brain damage done to the small boy and soon after that social services had caught up with the Sam's parents, and had placed Sam in the care of Henry and Millie Winchester, Dean's grandparents.

"Sammy" Dean whispered, know that his brother could not hear but speaking due to habit anyway, shook the boy gently to wake him. "Time to wake up little brother."

Along with the loss of hearing Sam suffered from hideous migraines, a result of the brain injury, causing him to on occasion to throw up or pass out. Awful nightmares also plagued the boy and it was due to this that more often than not Sam was found in Dean's bed soaking in the comfort that only his older brother could provide.

"Hmm?" Sam murmured twisting slightly.

"Time to enter the world of the living" Dean replied stretching and getting out of bed.

"Where you going?" Sam raised his hands and signing, peering at Dean through half lidded eyes.

Dean looked around the room. He honestly hadn't really thought past 'get out of bed'. However, he was saved from answering when a sharp cry was heard from down the hall.

"DEAN!"

"Shit!" Dean cried driving back into bed and hiding his face behind Sam.

Sam, who was wide-awake at this point started to laugh as Kadin, Dean's older brother, stormed into the room.

"God damn it Dean! You got to stop doing this!" Kadin roared, signing as well when he noticed Sam's wakefulness, a paper flapping in his moving hands.

Kadin was a tall, blonde and at the moment was sporting the most annoyed expression Sam had ever seen. Kadin was a very sweet young man, the perfect balance between Dean's wild arrogant side, and Sam's sweet and innocent nature.

Currently however Kadin looked nothing like the "sweet young man" he was often described as. He had rushed into Dean's bedroom with nothing but a large bath towel wrapped around his waist and was waving a print out of a very ugly face as he ranted at Dean.

"If I find one more of these creepy-ass faces I am going make sure you don't get to drive the impala anywhere." Kadin said glaring at the spot behind Sam's shoulder where he knew his younger brother was hiding.

"You wouldn't dare!" Dean cried sitting up and looking at his brother in mild horror.

"You bet your ass I would. So stop pasting these faces all over my shit!" Kadin smirked as he signed, throwing down the disturbing print out before storming out of the room.

Sam laughed; he always enjoyed watching his elder brother get fed up with Dean's antics. Dean was definitely the trickster of the group. He was constantly messing with Kadin, and Kadin had yet to get the younger boy back, though he swore he would.

"What a grump." Dean murmured through a yawn as he once again crawled his way out of the double bed.

Sam giggled again and sat up stretching his arms above his head.

Dean yawned blearily looking around the room before deciding the effort of getting dressed was less than the need for food. Looking at his disheveled little brother Dean grinned, "Want to go see if Nana will make us pancakes?"

"Hell yeah!" Sam responded turning to his older brother.

"Alright lets go tiger." Dean turned and without warning threw Sam over his shoulder.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed his voice croaky from disuse. Sam almost never spoke aloud and when he did it was usually his brothers names.

Dean laughed; the sound rumbling through his chest allowing Sam to know what he brother was doing and hit him in response.

"Morning Nana!" Dean chimed as he lowered Sam into his usual seat at the table.

"Good morning boys." Millie Winchester said and with a soft smile, her hands moving simply as she spoke. Millie was a terribly sweet woman who had forever been scarred by the acts her only son John had committed on her grandchildren. But John was gone so it was her job to raise his two boys to be better than their father, something Millie was constantly worried she was failing at.

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast." Dean said batting his eyes in a completely unflattering fashion.

Millie laughed, at sixty-seven she was still young at heart "You know where the ingredients are Dean."

"Yeah, but you make them so much better than we do. Please Nana." Dean said stretching out the last please while throwing in his own version of the 'puppy-dog eyes'. Something that he would always be second place in to the youngest Winchester, who speaking of had the eyes turned all the way up.

"Alright, alright, but next time you want pancakes wake up a little earlier." Millie stood and started pulling out the flour and other things needed to make the breakfast. "By the way, what did you do to your brother? I heard him shouting this morning."

Sam giggled at this burying his face in the glass of apples juice Dean had placed in front of him as Dean tried to explain.

"Well he just doesn't understand a good joke and he is always taking it out on me! Really the guy needs to take a whole bottle of chill pills never-mind one." Dean was muttering by the end of his speech, not bothering to sign as he poured coffee out of the pot on the counter.

"You didn't put ceramic wrap on the toilet again did you? Because I thought having you clean that up once would be enough but I can arrange-"

"No, no." Dean said with a shudder.

"No," agreed Kadin coming into the kitchen and flopping next to Sam at the table, wet hair splattering the papers Nana had left there. "He just keeps posting this weird freaking photos all over my stuff. When I got in the shower there was a creepy green face staring at me from the ceiling. Scared the crap out of me."

Dean snorted and Sam laughed as Millie shook her head fondly at the boys. "Dean, stop messing with your brother." She said pointing the spatula at the middle boy, knowing that if Sam cared to follow the conversation he would read her lips.

"Don't worry Nana," Kadin smirked "One day I will get him back. With Sam's help right Sam?" Kadin said nudging his little brother.

"Oh no, I am not getting involved in this." Sam putting his hands into the air and shaking his head "This is your battle."

"That's right bro, Sammy's brain is off limits." Dean smiled thumping a coffee mug in front of his brother, the dark liquid spilling onto the table.

Kadin groaned and sipped the coffee.

Millie was just placing the last of the pancakes onto Dean's plate when Henry Winchester entered the kitchen wiping dirt from his hands.

"Starting our days late as always are we boys?" Henry said laughing.

"What do you mean late? It's like what, ten? Only old people and babies are up at this time." Dean replied stabbing his pancake with gusto before shoving it whole into his mouth and winking at Sam who was looking at him in utter disgust.

Henry Winchester laughed washing his hands in the sink. Before turning to face his grandsons and his adopted youngest son "So listen Dean, Bobby called this morning and said he got the last part for the car, so if you want to stop by today you are more than welcome."

"Yes!" Dean cried "You just wait by this time tomorrow I will be driving that car all around town."

"If it doesn't fall apart again." Sam signed causing Kadin to choke on the sip of coffee he was about to take.

"Shut up Sam. You know you love the car." Dean boasted smearing more syrup on the last pancake. The Impala had once belonged to Dean's father, something that one would think would keep Dean and Kadin far away from the old car, but both of them remembered how much their mother had loved the car. Dean had always shared that love so Kadin had graciously given the Impala to Dean when he turned 17. Unfortunately even though Dean was newly licensed, the Impala had needed some major work.

"Thanks Pop, can you give me a ride? I can't wait to get her up and running!"

"Can't today Deano. I got to talk to the manager. We are having a decrease in production this spring and I am wondering if-"

"Okay okay! Go play with the grapes!" Dean groused. He had never been interested in the vineyard, unlike Kadin who was looking into one day inheriting the company.

"I'll take you Dean." Kadin said already standing and placing his plate in the dishwasher "I need to talk to my advisor and he had hours on Saturday. Plus I told Penny I would pick her up at noon."

"How is Penny?" Millie asked as she placed a mug in front of Henry and kissed his cheek.

"Prefect as always." Kadin responded getting that sappy expression people often get when they are talking about a new love.

"Bla, bla, bla, moving on when do you want to go?" Dean interrupted.

"Why don't you start by getting dressed?" Kadin said glaring at Dean "and then we can go."

"Alright lets move Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, grabbing his little brother's hand and pulling him to the stairs.

Sam's laughter followed as he was steered out of the kitchen.

Henry shook his head sipping on his drink before turning to Kadin and continuing to talk about work.

"Will you stop that." Sam hands where sharp in his movements as he glared at his older brother, Dean was bouncing in the back seat of Kadin's truck. "Its just a car part!"

They three boys were heading to Singer Salvage where their friend and surrogate uncle worked. Bobby Singer and his wife Karen had been friends with John and Mary Winchester and the boy's godparents before the fire that had killed Mary and had driven John to belief in demons and ghosts. Karen had died right before the fire in a car accident causing Bobby to turn to drinking. But when the news of what was happening to Dean and Kadin had come to light Bobby had been right next to Henry and Millie when the boys where brought home.

When Sam had entered the picture Bobby treated him as though he was his godchild as well, even going as far to learn ASL with the small boy.

"Sam! It is not just a mere 'car part'! This is the final piece Sam! The final chunk that will make my baby run."

"I still think it is weird that you call the car "baby" this isn't Herbie."

"You just don't understand the special bond we have Sammy." Dean responded throwing an arm over Sam's shoulders and pulling him close. Sam's name sign had always been reduced further to mean "Sammy". It was literally the letter 'S' followed by the sign for 'my' meaning directly "My 'S'", which in Deans logic worked out to be "Sammy" as it had both the words 'my' and 'Sam' in it. Dean was the only one allowed to call Sam this.

"No Sam you are right." Kadin said from the front seat. "He is weird." Using a hand not on the wheel to make the sign for weird in Dean's direction.

"Oh shut it Kadin, you don't know how to treat your car. Look at all the crap you have on the front seat. I would never force guests in the back because I was mistreating Baby."

"You aren't a guest dumbass. You're my brother." Kadin responded rolling his eyes and turning into the Singer's driveway.

Barking interrupted whatever Dean was about to say and Kadin threw the car in park as the Singer's dogs ran around the car crying and barking in excitement.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Dean laughed pushing the dogs aside so he could jump down out of the trunk.

"Rumsfeld! Wolford! Get away from them! Damn Dogs" Bobby Singer stomped down the porch steps as Sam followed his brother out of the car.

"Its okay Bobby, they aren't bothering me!" Sam chuckled allowing the dogs to jump and slobber all over him.

"Alright you guys good?" Kadin asked leaning out the window. "Do you need to be picked up or..."

"Naw man we are all set, see you later! Tonight is movies with the guys right?" Dean said turning to his brother and laughing as Wolford, the large black bullmastiff-lab mix, jumped onto Sam's legs and started to lick the boy's face.

"Yeah, I'm goanna pick up a pizza and they will be over at sixish, that good?"

"Perfect I will see you then." Dean clapped his hand on the trunk before standing back as Kadin pulled out of the driveway. Then turning to Bobby and rubbing his hands together Dean said, "Alright old man lets get to work!"

"Who are you calling old you idjit?" Bobby growled fondly his large hands making the signs fluently as he spoke "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Pops said the last part came in!" Dean smirked spinning Sam around as Sam screeched with laugher.

"Yeah, yeah alright you two lets get to work." Bobby ordered leading the two young men around back where the gleaming Impala sat.

It was a pleasant afternoon and while Dean spent most of the time under the hood of the car Sam played with the three dogs while Bobby nagged Dean on what he was doing. Around one o'clock Bobby pulled Dean away so that they go come inside for lunch and a water break.

Dean was over the moon about the Impala, it was running and was able to be driven, something he had been waiting years for. Sam ended up spending the second half of the afternoon throwing sticks for the dogs to chase after and running around the yard himself. He may he thirteen but he was never too old to run around with the dogs.

At around 4 o'clock Dean ran after his brother demanding that: 'Sam come right away and get into the Impala so he could be the first one to have a ride in the best car ever.'

So Dean loaded his little brother into the front seat of the awesome car, told Bobby he would see him in a few days and flew off down the road.

Sam smiled as they rode down the back Virginia street watching as his big brother whooped and shouted with glee.

Sam loved his big brother, Dean had always been there taking care of him ever since he had arrived at the Winchester household. His big brother had protected him from nightmares, bullies and was always there when he was in pain. There was nothing Dean would not do for him. Sam often wished he could repay Dean for all that he had done for him, even if Dean said that it was totally unnecessary.

Turning to face his brother Sam smiled "You're the best big brother you know that Dean?"

Dean turned glancing at Sam as he wound the car through the roads grinning fondly he ruffled his little brothers hair, the Winchester equivalent to: don't be a sap man, but I feel the same'. Then turning sharply he spend towards Wayward Wines.

At six o'clock Dean and Sam sat in the furnished basement playing video games on the large couch waiting for Kadin to arrive.

Suddenly the basement door opened and a whole herd of people came marching down the stairs. All Kadins friends from college and a few of Dean's high school friends mixed in with the group.

"Yo Dean what's up man." Kadins's friend Dylan said plopping down on the couch next to Dean.

"Nothing much, got the car up and working today." Dean said smirking sliding closer to Sam making more room for the other people who started to pile around the room facing the TV.

"Hey what movie are we watching?" Penny called sitting next to Kadin with her legs lying of top of his.

"I don't know I just grabbed if." Kadin's best friend Liam called as he messed with the DVD player.

"You know we were using that." Dean groused throwing and arm over Sam as Deans's best friend Jason plopped next to his little brother.

"How are you little man?" Jason, asked beaming at Sam. Most of Dean's and Kadin's friends had picked up some sign language after hanging out with the three boys for years. Jason was the most fluent at ASL, he had known Dean since second grade when they had started to go to school together. Jason had immediately taken a likening to Sam when they met and had made a huge effort to pick up the language allowing him to communicative with the kid.

"I'm good thanks Dylan." Sam smiled leaning into Dean.

"Alright everyone shut up! The movie is starting!" Lila called from the beanbag chair on the floor and silence descended over the group.

For the first hour everything was fine, the subtitles flashing across the screen, but Dean soon noticed Sam squinting and blinking at the screen, a sure sign a headache was coming.

"Sammy?" Dean spoke leaning down so he right in his little brother line of vision. "You okay?"

"I think so." Came the response "Just tired."

"Wanna go to bed? I'll take you." Dean said already preparing to stand.

"I guess so, my head hurts." Sam murmured burying his face in Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah alright." Dean stood pulling his little brother up with him, and stepping over the people sitting on the floor.

"Everything good Dean?" Kadin's worried voice floated across the room.

"Yeah, we're good." Dean replied making his way up the stairs.

Reaching the second floor Sam made a beeline for Dean's bedroom. Dean didn't comment, knowing that if Sam had a headache he wouldn't want to be on his own.

Placing Sam in the bed and pulling the covers over the small body Dean went to the bathroom and gathered Sam's medication before coming back and helping Sam swallow them.

Pushing Sam's floppy hair our of his face Dean spoke "Sam, you want me to stay here with you? Or do you want to be alone for a little?"

"I'm okay Dean go finish the movie."

"You sure? I can stay." Dean nattered tucking Sam more thoroughly into bed.

"No, I'm fine." Sam signed shaking his head and tapping his thumb to the center of his chest to indicate 'fine.'

"Okay, I'll be back in a little bit okay Sammy?" Dean fussed, always worried when his little brother was in pain.

"mmhmm Dee." Sam mumbled closing his eyes.

Turning Dean flicked off the light and went back to the basement. Kadin gave him a questioning look and Dean shook his head before sitting back down and finishing the movie.

Once the credits were finally flitting across the scene there was talk of starting another, but Dean declined saying goodnight to his friends before heading back upstairs. Changing into his sleep clothes Dean checked on Sam and was pleased to see he was sleeping, meaning they had headed off the migraine before it had gotten to bad. Crawling into bed Dean automatically lifted his arm as Sam rolled into him with a soft sigh.

"Night Sammy." Dean whispered, knowing his brother could not hear him, and pressing a light kiss to his little brother's head before following him into sleep.

A few hours later Kadin peaked into Dean's bedroom and smiled as he saw his two little brothers curled around each other. Both of them had been through such a hard time it was nice to see them at peace.

With a yawn Kadin pulled the door closed and headed to his own bed completely unknowing of the horrors that were about to fall upon their little family.

**So what did you think of this first chapter? I know not a lot happened but I wanted to establish the characters and the story idea before really moving onto the main plot! **

**I am taking ASL at the moment so I do know quite a few signs, but I apologies for any mistakes I make or if something is not clear enough. **

**Let me know what you thought and any suggestions you may have! **

**Much love! **

**~Wind **


	2. When I'm Wiser and I'm Older

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! **

**Thank you so much for all the positive response! **

**This was a really hard chapter to write because things are starting to happen!**

**Chapter Two: When I'm Wiser and I'm Older **

Oh before we move on, (since I know most of you don't read authors notes) I just wanted to say thank you to those people who added this story to their story alert list! Thanks guys! I really appreciate it! However, I am really wondering why no one reviews anymore? Over 50 people visited/followed/favorited this story! And I only get three reviews (thank you **lenail125, IcyFox West and Calypso Jackson**)!

Come on guys… **Reviews are to help me**! And not only that but I guarantee faster updates if I get **more reviews because I will be more motivated**! So think about it yeah? I mean it is for your benefit too!

Anyway…

_Sam sat huddled in one of his father's old ratty sweatshirts, the fabric pooling around him. He shuddered as he heard screaming from downstairs and a thud that sounded like a body hitting the floor. At four years old, Sam was old enough to know that when his father had visitors it was best to stay far, far away. _

_Suddenly however the arguing grew closer and Sam could make out his mothers words of hate. Shaking Sam pushed himself further against the wall wishing he could just melt into the paneling. _

_Sooner than Sam wanted the wooden door bust open and his irate parents stood in the doorframe. Sam whimpered, knowing what was coming before either had spoken. _

"_You little shit." His father growled advancing upon Sam. "It is all your fault all of my partners are backing out. Ever since you came into our life none of our plans have ever gone through you little shit. Four houses have burned down, half my money with them!" _

"_Please." Sam whimpered never understanding why his father was always so angry with him. His plea fell on deaf ears. _

_The fist that hit his face caused stars to appear before the small child's eyes. Then before he could take another breath he was being dragged into the hallway his parents mocking barley penetrating the fog that surrounded his brain. _

_More hits fell on his small body until his mothers angry words made him almost sigh with relief. _

"_Don't kill the kid George, he may be useful later. The little shit brings bad luck everywhere maybe we can set him on someone." _

_The hands holding his sweatshirt dropped and Sam fell to the ground panting and trying to wipe blood from where it was dripping into this eyes and mouth. _

"_I don't know how he could ever become useful. Kid can't even stay on his own two feet."_

_And then before Sam could blink a hand pushed on his back making him fall… and fall…_

_The stairs flew past his vision and pain assaulted every fiber of his being. His head hit the floor and a pain he had never experienced before radiated throughout his small body even as the feeling of falling continued and his parent's words surround him. _

Sam's eyes snapped open, panic and fright that had a hold of him, briefly struggling against the hands that pushing him into the mattress below him. His eye tried to understand what they were seeing as he whimpered and tears rushed down his checks.

Dean pulled Sam close to his chest, trying to ward of the ends of the nightmare Sam had been trapped in, shaking his own head in hope that thoughts of his old childhood would vanish.

"D-Dean?" Sam shuddering voice came, muffled by Dean's shoulder. Recognizing the familiar feel of a soft hand rubbing down his back

Dean nodded against the top of Sam's head, squeezing his little brother closer as the shudders started to subside.

Sam's breathed hitched as he reached around his brother and dug his hands into the back of his tee shirt. Dean pushed his hand against Sam's heart breathing in an even pattern hoping to calm his scared brothers ragged breath.

Sam pulled back brushing tears from his eyes and smiling shakily at Dean, his breath finally slowing. Dean smiled softly back as his brother raising a hand to brush some stray hair from Sam's face then raising his hands and in the dim light signed slowly to his shaken sibling

"I'm here Sammy. Was it the stairs again?"

Sam nodded, shuddering slightly pulling back into his brother trying disappear into him like he had tired to disappear into the wall all those years ago. Only this time it seemed to work as Dean's strong arms wrapped more firmly around him chasing the dream back into its cage in the back of Sam's mind.

Dean felt his little brother shuddering stop as he slipped back into sleep, hopefully this time with no dreams. Dean sighed pulling Sam impossibly closer as he tried to draw himself back into more pleasant dreams.

"Kadin!" Kadin groaned as the owner of the voice shook his shoulders.

"What" Kadin whined in response turning over to try and escape the voice.

"Kadin, me and your grandfather are going to be gone for a few days. One of Pop's old friends died and we are going to be with the family okay?"

Kadin sat up startled by the word 'death'. "What?" he cried concerned "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah honey don't you worry about your grandfather this friend has been very sick for a long time, but Pop is very close to the family so we are going to help them with the funeral preparations."

"Okay Nana, I'm really sorry. You want us to come?" Kadin said reaching out to hug his grieving guardian.

"Don't be honey, its all a part of life. And no, you boys don't need to be around this. But watch your brothers okay? We should be back in a day or two."

"Of course I'll watch them. I've got this." Kadin smiled, he had been taking care of his little brother for years now.

"Good boy. I'll give you a call tonight. Love you."

"You too." Kadin said with a yawn laying back down in bed and closing his eyes. He could sleep in for a little longer…

Sam blinked, his eyes crusty from dried tears a feeling he was, sadly, used to. Turning his head he looked out the large window at the grey sky. It was raining, soft drops hitting the glass as the wind pushed harshly against the side of the house. Suppressing an unwanted shiver Sam pushed himself further into the comfort of the blankets that surrounded him.

Next to him Dean shifted turning so he was facing Sam but with his eyes still closed. After a moment Dean blinked awake with a groan, then focusing on Sam he spoke quite plainly so that Sam could real his lips.

"Alright, Sam?"

Sam often wished he could hear his brother, but he also knew that if he had not lost his ability to hear he never would have been placed into the care of the Winchesters.

When Sam had been taken away from his mother and father, and after many months of living in a home and spending every other week at the hospital, the Winchesters had been contacted. Henry and Millie had been on the foster-care list for years and they were one of the few people who had some experience with sign language. Millie had a childhood friend who was deaf and had learned ASL at a very young age.

When the Winchesters had been contacted by social services Dean and Kadin had just moved into the house and Millie had almost refused to take the small boy in, worried about her grandson's reaction. However, when Dean had asked about Sam and had found that Sam didn't have a home he had insisted upon meeting the boy. Three weeks later Sam and Dean had been inseparable and a year later adoption forms had been written up.

Sam did not know much about Dean and Kadin's past, only aware that their father had not cared for them and was now getting psychiatric help.

Sam nodded in response to Dean's question before rolling out of bed, rubbing his eyes as he went.

"Breakfast?" Dean asked his hands making the sign for morning and then bringing his closed hand to his mouth literally signing: 'morning food.'

"Eggs?" Sam said, his index and middle fingers of both hands forming an 'x' in the air before coming downward like an eggs cracking.

Dean nodded in response before making his way to the door trusting his little brother to follow. The boys made their way down stairs Sam's socked feet making little sounds on the wooden floors as they entered the dark kitchen. The wind and rain were louder here and Dean flicked on the lights as they entered.

Yawing Dean pulled the large carton of apple juice from the fridge plopping it down on the table before pulling out the carton of eggs.

The kitchen was mostly silent as Dean scrabbled eggs humming a song from ACDC under his breath as he did so. Sam sat at the table chewing on his bottom lip as he watched rain fall against the windows.

"Hey," Dean said making a quick sign to catch his brother's attention. He had turned from the pan on the stove to sign: "Stop thinking" at his brother, knowing that when Sam was lost in thought more often than not it was not a 'good' thought.

Sam scowled "At least I can think." Emphasizing 'think' by tapping his head more than once.

Waving his hand in an indication of 'whatever', Dean turning back to the stove and poured the beaten eggs into the pan. Five minutes later Dean plopped two plates of ham filled (and vegetable encased, because Sam thought he was a rabbit) omelets onto the table and grinning when Sam's open hand moves from him mouth down in _thank you_ before tucking quickly into his plate.

Suddenly a loud noise filled the kitchen; Dean looked up slightly confused as to what was making the high pinging noise. Beside him, and even more surprising Sam jumped looking around the table in shock and confusion. Following Sam's gaze Dean spotted his cell phone vibrating and ringing loudly at the end of the table. The vibrations of the phone must have transferred to the table making Sam start.

Watching Sam to make sure he was nothing other than startled Dean grabbed the phone and pressed the answer key.

"Yeah?" Dean asked sitting back down and scooping up another forkful of eggs. "Jason? Yeah man what's up?"

Sam watched Dean curiously, unable to see his brothers face and therefore unable to lip-read. Sighing softly Sam dug back into his plate before watching Dean again.

"Naw, you're right we aren't going to be able to hit the courts today." Dean grumbled stuffing food into his mouth before glancing over at Sam and noticing him watching.

_What_? Dean signed his focus still on his breakfast and Jason talking.

_Who?_ Sam signed with a raised eyebrow indicating the phone held to Dean's ear.

Dean held his hand up and in a fist, his pinky held out as he swept it down into a "J" the easiest way to sign Jason's name one handed.

Sam hummed in understanding now uninterested in what the older teenagers were talking about and looking back at his meal.

"Whatever dude, if you want you can come here. Sam and me don't really have anything to do."

Listening to Jason's rambling on the other end of the line Dean looked up as he heard footsteps and then the groan of a tried older brother. Dean snorted looking back down knowing exactly what he brother looked like in the morning without needing to see it.

Sam glanced up, having seen Kadin out of the corner of his eye and smiling when he signed a grumpy "Morning," at him.

"Sure alright! See you then!" Dean chimed before placing the phone down and smirking at Kadin, who was going sluggishly through the motions of making coffee like the typical college student he was.

"What up big bro! Sleep well!"

"Shut up Dean."

Dean laughed nudging Sam's shoulder and saying "Such a grump." Knowing Sam would catch onto the well used phrase.

With a sharp laugh Sam raised his hands and asked, "Where's Nana and Pops?"

"Don't know." Dean said before repeating the question to Kadin who was going through the fridge and grumping about brothers who didn't bother to make enough eggs for three people.

"They are off at a funeral." Kadin mumbled shoving a piece of cold pizza into his mouth.

"What?" Dean said in shock as Kadin cracked more eggs into the pan.

"Don't worry about it, a friend of Pop's died and they went off to help the family with the funeral preparations. Nana said that we didn't have to come we didn't know them anyway. They will be back in a couple days." Kadin signed as he spoke the spatula he was now holding waving around wildly.

Sam frowned at Kadin stilted signing, it was hard to understand when one hand was gripping a spatula and he was talking around a mouth full of pizza rendering lips reading useless.

Kadin had already turned back to his eggs so he didn't notice Sam's noise of confusion. Dean though heard and turned to his little brother to find Sam tapping his index finger against his chin in indication of "What did you say?"

Dean smirked calling to Kadin "Dude wake up before you try and talk, even I only got part of whatever you where muttering about." Before raising his arms and quickly relaying what Kadin had said to Sam.

(FMWTTD)

Two hours later found the three boys and Jason back in the basement. Kadin and Dean where playing some violent video game while Sam and Jason cheered, or Jason swore at Kadin to "GO FASTER" while Sam signed violently at Dean (who watched from the corner of his eye).

"God damn it!" Dean finally swore throwing the controller down. "You cheated!"

"Don't be an asshole Dean you lost, my superior skills kicked your ass."

Without saying a word Dean launched himself at Kadin throwing the two of them two the floor. Both boys were strong and soon a full out spar was happening in the middle of the game room's floor.

"Oy! Enough!" Jason said trying to get involved and getting kicked in the shin for his trouble. Sam sat in the spot Dean had previously occupied bending over with laughter.

"Wait Damn it! Hold!" Kadin suddenly yelled pulling up from where he had Dean in a headlock. There was silence for a moment before the ringing of the house phone was heard faintly from its place in the kitchen.

"Damn it." Kadin cursed dropping Dean and pulling from his grasp before darting up the stairs to answer the phone.

"Asshole." Dean shouted after him rubbing at his head trying to flatten out his hair.

"You got you ass handed to you." Sam smiled, still chuckling.

"I'd like to see you go up against that wall of fat. Bitch." Dean replied his lips slightly turned upward to indicate he was teasing even as his flat hand, in the shape of the letter 'B', went from his chin and back out calling his little brother a bitch.

Sam signed back, a fist going his forehead as though he was about to hit himself before coming away, "Jerk."

"Alright enough of your weird bonding time guys. I had winner but as our champion vanished... Sam want to try and beat the master!" Jason cried as his hands flew before tossing the controller to the youngest Winchester and pressing start.

Dean was just yelling and flailing his arms wildly screaming at Sam to chop Jason's head off when Kadin reappeared. Glancing over at this brother with a wide smile Dean imminently froze when he saw the look on Kadin's face.

Instantly Dean was tense his whole body as tight as a spring ready for grab Sam at a moments notice.

"What?" He demanded sharply turning fully to look at Kadin. Jason looked up from the TV to stare but Sam, always fully engaged with what he was doing had not noticed what was happening with the other people the room. Noticing this Kadin spoke aloud

"Not now." He hissed "I'll tell you later, everything is fine." His eyes flicked to Sam sitting on the couch and Dean tensed even more but threw the smile back on his face and glaring at Jason to act normal.

But the TV broke the silence as it let off one giant explosion as Sam won the round.

Sam turned to his brothers a wide grin on his face waiting for the normal hysterical reaction and frowned when Dean merely smiled and Kadin ruffled his hair as he walked past, his face impassive.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked panic overriding his face as his mouth opened and his eyes widened. He could tell something was bothering his older brothers as they exchanged a look and Kadin's arms crossed over his chest and Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

"What?" Sam signed again glancing between his brothers his heart thudding painfully.

"Hey Sammy don't worry about it okay little brother?" Dean signed forcing a better smile on his face before nudging Sam on the shoulder to get him to move over and flopping onto the couch. "Alright mister champion lets see how you can do against me!"

Sam accepted the controller handed to him and turned his focus back to the TV, trying to banish the worry from his mind. If Dean told him it was okay then it was. Before they knew it Dean and Sam were both distracted by the game and Jason was cheering them on.

Kadin sat back in his chair watching Dean and Sam play, his heart in his throat and his hands clenching and unclenching on the armrests.

(FMWTTD)

**Twenty minutes previously**

"_Hello you have reached-" _

"I need to make a report."

"_Can I ask who is speaking please?" _

"I want to tell you about some possible neglect and abuse."

"_Please who is this? Are you alright?" _

"The Winchesters. Those kids…"

"_Sir I need you to tell me-"_

"You need to get him away from them. The boys are going to be hurt. He is going to be a problem. I promise you."

"_Sir, sir please you need to-"_

_*Click*_

John Winchester gently placed the black pay phone into the cradle and pushed away from the wall. Making his way to the motel down the street he took in a deep inhale of the clean air. He was free now, out of the hellhole he had been trapped in. And now he was going to get his boys back, back from the devil that had taken his beautiful wife.

John pushed open the motel room door, barley glancing at the photo covered wall before sitting on the bed and lifting a battered folder to his eyes. It had been right were he left it in the storage locker ready for him when he escaped the institution.

John hummed as he sorted through the papers pulling out account after account of unexampled fires each fire following an encounter with a member of a long and horrible family line.

And the last member of that line was sitting in the same house as his precious son's.

**Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter! Sorry for any grammar or spelling problems! I try my hardest but I do occasionally fail! **

**I really wanted to get this chapter out to you! But I am also in the process of writing a lab report… ew **

**PLEASE REVIEW! I really want to know what you think of this! **


	3. All This Time I Was Finding Myself

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Except my charming personality ;) **

**Thank You to all those you reviewed and followed/favorited! It means a lot! Please continue to review! It really builds my confidence and helps me know what people want out of this story! **

**Oh also on another note, I realize that some of the ways I describe ASL might be confusing. I have been taking ASL for months now so descriptions that might makes sense to me may be confusing to those who have no taken ASL. If you are interested in knowing that a sign looks like there is a website called **_**signingsavvy . com**_** It is not the most reliable source for looking at ASL but it is very good for basic things. If one of my signs does not match what you see there it is because there are not than one way to sign certain things! **

**Anyway check that out and I hope you like this chapter! **

**Chapter Three: ****All this time I was finding myself**

It was hours later when Dean confronted Kadin on what was going on. Jason had left after a quick dinner of grilled cheese and tomato soup, and Sam had headed up stairs to shower after the three boys had watched another movie.

"What's going on?" Dean demanded as soon as Sam had left the room turning to face Kadin with unhidden panic on his face.

"Listen Dean-" Kadin started with a sigh pulling out a beer from the fridge and sitting at the kitchen table with a thump.

"No, no you don't get to 'listen Dean' me. I want to know what is wrong! You don't get to keep these things from me remember?"

"I know, I know. I just didn't want you to freak out in front of Sam." The placating voice Kadin used did nothing to calm the rattled teen and Dean started to pace his hands clenched at his sides.

"What-" Dean began

"It was the CPS" Kadin explained, cutting right to the chase.

Dean instantly froze. They hadn't had to deal with the CPS for years, after Sam had been adopted into the family they had mostly left the Winchesters alone only. Why would they be calling now? Was it something to do with Sam? With him? He was only seventeen, wouldn't be turning 18 for another few months yet

"Why!? They don't think they can take him away do they! They can't! He is fine here! Better than he was with his fuck-up parents! And I'm almost of age! They need to get the fuck out of our business!" Dean crossed his arms, hugging himself and clenching his fists shaking slightly in the middle of the kitchen.

"Dean! Hey, hey!" Kadin exclaimed standing and grabbing Dean's shoulders "No one is taking you or Sam anywhere understand!"

"Then what's going on?" Dean demanded pulling from Kadin's grasp and glaring up at the older boy.

Kadin heaved a sigh plopping himself back into his vacated chair and rubbing his neck before beginning. "They called to say they got some anonymous phone call about one of us being hurt in this house. They don't believe anything could be wrong! But they need to come check up on us."

"What the fuck!" Dean exclaimed starting to pace running agitated hands through his hair. The idea of Child Protective Services coming to his house always made him edgy. When his Dad had taken him and Kadin, the idea of the CPS finding you and taking you to a bad place had been ingrained into his mind. Kadin and him had never been placed in the CPS's care, they had spend five hours in a police station waiting room as they waited for their grandparents but never had actually experienced what it was like to be taken from all family members. And while Dean was eternally grateful for the CPS's involvement in Sam's case he still had the irrational fear that someone was going to come and take him and his brother away.

"Listen, I already called Nana and Pop's and they know what is going on, but they just spend eight hours in a car getting to the funeral. Unless they leave right now they aren't going to get back in time." Kadin was starting at his brother as he spoke. He too was very uneasy about the idea of being check up on by the CPS, but more because they thought there was something to be checked up on. "Plus the woman on the phone told me that its just going to be a quick check up you know? I'm listed on your and Sam's guardian list so its going to be _fine_. Nothing is going on so we have nothing to be worried about okay? Nana and Pop are going to come home as soon as they can. It all okay Dean."

"Who called to say something about us anyway! Nothing is happening! Sam is fine!" Dean seemed to have not heard a word his older brother has said still pacing across the kitchen floor

"Dean, Dean! Stop!" Kadin stood again stopping his brother's pacing with a hand on his arm "It's going to be fine! We don't even know if Sam has anything to do with this! And nothing is going on okay! But listen," His voice lowered and he shook Dean's arm to get his full attention "You need to talk to Sam okay? Tell him what is going on? Everything is going to be fine! But if you are freaking out he is going to freak out alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I can do that. Okay." Dean seemed to snap out of whatever panic induced haze he had entered and ran a hand across his face before pinching the bride of his nose. "I'll talk to him. I've got this. He won't freak out, nothing is even going on!"

"Absolutely Dean, everything is fine. Now go to bed, they are coming at nine-thirty tomorrow morning so try and sleep tonight yeah?"

"Yeah dude I'm going." Dean said, too uneasy about the whole thing that he didn't even bitch about having to get up at the unholy hour of nine am, as he started to trek towards the stairs.

(FMWTTD)

John Winchester cursed as he slammed the truck door closed on his coat jacket before ramming the door back open and slamming it shut, this time jacket free. His boots hit the muddy grass with his purposeful strides as he made his way towards the dark church. Ignoring the grand front door completely he made his way around the church to the rectory entrance remembering where to go from years before.

When he reached the small wooden door he stood for a moment, wondering if this was the best idea, if he should just turn back and do this mission on its own. Shaking those thoughts away John banged on the door with three hard hits.

There was a brief pause before John heard footsteps from inside. Then a call of "Just a moment" before the door swung open.

Jim Murphy had aged in the past years John had left, but he still had the same glimmering eyes and light smile. Both of which instantly vanished when he realized who was standing at the refectory door.

"John! What are you doing here?" Jim asked, opening the door further allowing the light from inside to fall fully on the man before him.

"Jim," John said a smile falling across his wore features "it's good to see you."

The pastor squinted at John as though trying to look right through him, whatever he saw there he frowned at, but he still stood aside and allowed the wandering Winchester to enter the bright room.

Jim closed the door softly behind the man before bustling over to the small kitchen and flicking on the large black coffee pot. John had taken a seat at the small wooden table and was looking around the small room with a soft smile on his face.

"So," Jim finally asked taking a seat across the man and looking into his eyes "What is going on."

John grinned, his eyes flashing in the soft light before he leaned forward on the table. "I found him."

"What?" Jim said a puzzled expression covering his face "what do you mean?"

"The one who killed Mary. I've found the last of his kind."

"John," Jim started his eyes soft "I know you think it was a demon, but you have to remember-"

"No!" John shouted, "You don't get to tell me that it wasn't a demon! You don't get to say that not when I've killed them! Not when Singer practically admitted Mary had connections to them!" John was standing at this point, fists clenches at his side his expression sharp, his eyes crazed.

"Whoa! Hey, hey! John!" Jim stood putting his hands forward in a placating manner "I'm not saying anything Just tell me what you found alright? We will go on from there."

John took three deep breaths, his eyes screwed shut before he was ready to speak again. He lowered himself back into his seat and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been hard you know? I just… its hard."

"Yeah John I know its alright. Why don't you just tell me what you found." Jim's voice was calm but his eyes were weary as he observed the disgruntled man before him.

"It's all here." John explained gesturing to the folder he had placed on the table "generations of people, demons, and fires following them I've traced them all. All the unexplained fires in this area in the last fifty years, they all have a connection to this family!"

Jim pulled the folder towards him and began flipping through the documents.

"It doesn't make sense sometimes, some of them just living in the same town, maybe just bumped into each other on the street, but after an encounter there is a fire, that kills the whole family or even just one member! This is real Jim! You have to see that!"

"I must admit there does seem to be some connection-"

"And the signs of a demon are everywhere!" John interrupted pointing at some of the pictures spilling from the folder. "At almost every fire there was sulfur, demonic signs, or deaths happening in strange ways. I'm not making this shit up Jim! This is real!"

"Alright, but if there is a connection between this family and demon fires, what is the connection with Mary?"

"Look, look here." John frantically sorted through the paper picking them up and pushing ones he didn't want aside "Here, look at this! Mary was near the kid that day of the fire!"

Jim looked at the paper. It was a medical form filled out by Nurse Mary Winchester. It dealt with a small child, having a terrible fever. The form was the basic medical paper, dealing with the type of medication the boy was being given. At the bottom of the page there was a small note saying "Child abuse?" in Mary illegible scrawl.

"Okay, okay John I admit-"

"But Jim this is not even the worst part this child, this "Sam", he is with my children Jim! This demon child is living with my boys!"

"John this kid, he was six months old when Mary died and nothing has happened to the boys since he has lived with them right?" John nodded and Jim continued stacking the papers carefully and placing them back in the folder. "So the child probably has nothing to do with it John, for all you know it could be the kids parents, how do you know-"

"That's the thing Jim, the parents. I looked into the whole thing and there were no fires or anything before this kid was born! Nothing, once this _Sam_ was born fires followed them everywhere! And then there is this, the police report the day the kid was taken away."

"Why was he taken from his parents?" Jim asked as John pointed to various document shoving them aside before he could even read what they said.

"That's not important, but he was taken to the hospital and the parents were brought to court for something. The courtroom caught on fire! See! Right here! No one was killed but you cannot tell me that, this is not a lead."

"Alright John I see what you are saying, but this kid he is a good boy. I've checked up on Dean and Kadin since you have been _away,_ and Sam, he is a sweet kid, really nice and polite, and there hasn't been any demon activity around the house that I can see."

"Jesus christ Jim! Open your fucking eyes! There were no signs before these people died either! This demon has to be killed! He is going to hurt my boys! He killed my wife! Why aren't you supporting me on this! God damn I thought you were going to be on my side!" John stood up kicking the chair he was sitting in aside, anger pulsing through his veins his previous calm completely abated.

"Woah John calm down, this is the anger that got yourself into the hospital in the first place. I know there is something wrong, but are you really sure you should be out? You are not going to be able to help your boys is you are in this state. Why don't you just let me call-" The Pastor was standing, hands held up in a surrendering way, not wanting the man before him to feel threatened, as he spoke is made his way over to the corded phone hanging on the wall.

"No! I know what I am talking about! Damn it Jim!" Rage was clouding John as he pulled out a gun from his back pocket "You either help me get ride of this fucking demon spawn or you are just like the bastards who locked me up! I've found the spells I know what needs to be done to get the demon from the boy."

"John, you needed help. The hunt was making you irrational! You murdered four innocent people!"

John's eyes were hard, unfeeling. His body language tense, shoulder shaking with the strain of holding himself back from jumping at the man before him. The only still part of his body was the hand that held the gun, steadily following the pastor's movements. His voice was unemotional as he spoke and the light shining on his face made him seem almost unearthly as he uttered the last words the poor pastor would hear.

"They were in my way. Just like you are now."

The gunshot rang through the church with a heartless finality.

(FMWTTD)

Dean couldn't sleep, all manner of horrible thoughts pounding through his scull. He had told Sam what was going on and surprisingly Sam seemed much calmer about the whole thing than Dean was. He had repeated what Kadin had said, that nothing was wrong so they had not reason to take him away. Dean knew that both his brothers were right, but it didn't stop the panic that had a hold on his heart. Sam, seeming to know that his brother was worried had smiled softly and hugged Dean with all his might wanting to instill some of his own confidence into his older brother.

That had been hours ago and now both boys were in Sam's room, cuddled up together on the small bed. Absent-mindedly Dean ran his hands through his brother's long locks.

"I promise you Sam. Nothing is ever going to happen to you. Not while I am around." Dean whispered to the ceiling squeezing his eyes shut and praying he could keep that vow.

**So guys what do you think? We are getting into some action! Oh John so confused and crazy… sigh… **

**Please Review! It is what keeps me writing! **


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